A Conversation Starter
by Dara Tavar
Summary: Things are tense between Mal and Inara as unspoken feelings burn to be freed. This causes problems for everyone, until one crew member has enough and takes things to the next level, exposing what the two have hidden in a way they won't forget. R&R please.


**Okay, the idea for this story actually came from a comment that roselover19 made to me, so I thank you for the idea you gave. Sorry it took so long for me to write this...I probably wouldn't have if I hadn't chanced to open up the message and see the comment again. Anyways, this is a quick story, less than 2000 words, that I just typed up. If I made any errors in spelling/grammar, then I'm sorry, but it's about 4 am and I'm really tired, lol. I'll stop yacking and let you read and me sleep now though, haha. Enjoy!  
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**DT  
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**A Conversation Starter**

"I guess you're wondering why I've called you both here."

Mal raised his eyes from the gun barrel held scant inches from his nose to the face of its wielder. She looked at him pleasantly enough, as though there was nothing more than talking about the weather on her mind, even though only moments ago she'd threatened him with bodily harm. He couldn't help giving her an incredulous look.

"Called us here? That's not the phrase I would have used to describe the way you got us in here," he muttered irritably, scowling up at her. He let out a sudden yelp when Inara's fingers prodded at a particularly sore spot on the back of his head. He spun about to glare at her, but she only rolled her eyes.

Inara glared back at Mal. "You're supposed to be sitting still, not moving about. How do you expect me to do anything when you're moving about so?" she asked, exasperated. Her nerves were already stretched thin, let alone with this new development in their travel plans. It appeared nothing was going to plan. First, the unexpected arrival of an Alliance vessel forced them to leave their previous planet early and chart a completely different course and stopping points along the way to their next destination, which caused difficulties for her appointments with clients, and now this happened.

"I thought your job _involves_ working with moving men—or are you telling me that they remain completely still during your time with them? That must not make things very pleasurable for either of you, right?" he asked in a dark tone, his brows drawn together over his nose.

She made an angry noise, moving away from him to the opposite end of the small bed that doubled as a bench. "I'm not a doctor, but I think you'll be fine. You're not bleeding and it only looks like a bump. Simon could tell you more, but he's not here. And this is nothing like what I do. It resembles more your line of work than mine. Guns pointed at us, threats of death. If only someone was stealing something, then it would be perfect."

He shifted uncomfortably, his eyes locking on the weapon still pointed at him. "She stole my gun," he said quietly,

"Well, I guess this is exactly like your line of work then. The fact that it's not going the way you planned doesn't surprise me either because anything hardly ever does!" Inara snapped at him.

Mal opened his mouth to reply to that comment, but the sound of the gun cocking stopped him, reminding him of the fact that he had bigger problems to concern himself with that Inara insulting him.

"If you promise to behave, I'll stop pointing the gun at you," she told him, her innocent expression at odds with the knowing way she held the gun in her hands.

He gingerly touched the back of his head, wincing at the pain it caused. "Nope, head still hurts. So I still don't trust you," he replied making an irritated face at her.

River scoffed, rolling her eyes. "You deserved that. You tried fighting me, so I had to do something to make you quit, and I couldn't just shoot you. I wanted you to be alive and conscious for this, not bleeding on the floor or in need of serious medical attention. I only hit you hard enough to throw you off and scatter your senses long enough to get you where I wanted you," she replied as if commenting on nothing more than how the food was at dinner.

The two of them stared at one another for several moments in complete silence before the gun lowered a fraction, now pointed at his chest instead of his face. "So we have a deal, Malcolm?" she asked easily.

"Alright," he replied grudgingly, deciding not to comment on the use of his full name when she still pointed his weapon at him.

A bright smile curled her lips and she lowered the gun completely. "There. Now isn't that better?" she asked. Before either of her guests, or rather hostages, could reply, she moved on. She began walking back in forth in front of them, a maneuver that was a cross between pacing and marching, as she started talking once more. As she did so, she twirled the pistol around her pointer finger as if it were nothing instead of a dangerous instrument. "So the reason why I brought you here…"

Suddenly, she stopped moving, her arm flying up to aim her borrowed gun at the center of Mal's chest once more when he began to stand up. "Don't make me shoot you," she warned him in a low voice.

Mal stared at the young woman with wide eyes, uncertain as to how she'd noticed him standing to, hopefully, wrestle the gun from her. She had her back to him and hadn't turned her head to see him, nor had he made any sound or other indication of his movement, yet she'd known what he was doing and had that gun aimed at him before he'd even half stood.

Slowly, River turned around to look at him, her aim never wavering even though she didn't see him until she'd turned her head. "I may not have eyes in the back of my head, but when Alliance had their greedy hands on me, they sure made it seem like I did. I'll know if you try that stunt again, and next time I won't just warn you and give you the chance to change your mind. Next time I'll shoot. And if you so much as think that you'd rather have me shoot you than just sit there, I want you to know that right after I shoot you, I'll shoot Inara too. I won't kill you, but I will shoot you. So sit down and shut up. I have something to say to you."

Mal wouldn't have bothered doing what she told him to, if only she hadn't threatened Inara as well. He could deal with being shot. It wouldn't be the first time, and certainly not the last, but Inara was a different story. She'd never been shot in her life, though he'd been the reason she'd been shot at a few times. He wouldn't be the reason she was shot. "Alright, let's just calm down," he said, settling on a diplomatic answer.

The tension eased and River smiled once more, going back to twirling the gun around one finger and walking back and forth in front of them. "Now, I brought you here because I'm tired of all the tension between you two. Frankly, it's making you cranky and, therefore, making everyone else cranky. It feels like every time I leave me room, someone is snapping at me, and it's because the two of you are driving everyone up a wall. And when you're in the same room! Well, it's enough to nearly choke someone!" she cried, shaking her head in exasperation.

Inara frowned. "Tension? Mal and I aren't tense around one another. And if we are, it's probably just because of everything with Alliance. That's everyone's problem right now, not the two of us."

River gave the other woman a look that said she knew differently. "Oh, the situation doesn't help any, but it's definitely not the real cause of all of this. That only stressed everyone else out more. The real problem is the sexual tension between you and Mal."

"Sexual tension?" Inara gasped out while Mal suddenly coughed, eyes widening as he stared up at River.

"Yes. And I'm tired of it. I've been dealing with it since I first stepped foot on this ship, and it's finally getting to me. I can't imagine what Kaylee, Jayne, Wash and Zoe have had to go through, dealing with it for so much longer than Simon and I. I imagine it's been there for the moment you met, building up until it reaches its boiling point—which is just taking too long for me, so I'm putting a stop to it now. You two are going to work through all of it, and you're not getting out until all the tension is gone."

With that said, River stuffed the gun in the holster around her waist, which she'd also taken from Mal, and started for the door.

"Wait, you're just going to leave us here?" Inara cried out, jumping to her feet.

"Gorramit! You're not about to lock me up in here!" Mal cried, furious at the mere thought. "I'm the captain of this ship and you're my crew! I'll not have you telling me what to do and taking my things."

River turned to look at him just as she stepped out of the small room, arching one eyebrow. "In this room, at this point, you are what I say you are. And right now, you're Malcolm Reynolds, nothing more than a simple man. You aren't the captain of this ship and you have nothing more to think about then your problems with the woman beside you, who isn't a companion, but just a simple woman who has nothing more to worry about then you."

With those words, the door slid shut, the lock the loudest sound in the world to the two hostages held inside the small room that had doubled as a holding cell for unwanted visitors or an interrogation room in the past.

"Oh, and for a good conversation starter for the two of you: Mal, Inara is in love with you! And just so you don't say anything stupid because you're a man and it's completely possible…Mal loved you too, Inara!" she yelled through the locked door.

"What? That's not…I don't…You…" Inara sputtered with wide eyes as Mal turned to look at her with raised brows.

"Well, that's a conversation starter if I ever heard one," he told her as a slight grin began to curl his lips, taking in the wide eyed woman before him with this new knowledge in hand.


End file.
